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Ask Ceil – How’s the Writing Going?

Dear Ceil: If someone asks me how the writing’s going, are they being passive aggressive? Or just mocking me, outright? Hansen from The Heartland Dear Hansen, They’re not being passive-aggressive, nor are they mocking you. They are aggressively mocking you. If there are two things everyone knows about writers, it’s: 1. We procrastinate. We procrastinate…

pumpkin

Ask Ceil – Pumpkin Spice

Dear Ceil, I just had a pumpkin spice latte with my pumpkin spice donut, in front of my pumpkin spice candle. I don’t have friends anymore; I only have these things that are flavored with pumpkin spice. Is that ok? Sincerely, Autumnal in Austin Dear Autumnal, You know, when a person and a spice love…

Ask Ceil – I Have an Opinion

Dear Ceil, Why do I have so many opinions, and why do I talk about them? I had no idea I cared. Signed, Soapboxing in Susquehanna Dear Soapboxing, There are several reasons why we might voice our opinions. Only a couple make any sense. 1. We need to hear ourselves talk.

The Three Weirdest Ways I Was Ever Asked Out

There are people who stay with you through your life. Through time and tide, you always find yourself going back and drawing on their memories. Not for support. Not for insight. Not even for humor.They are people who blow quickly into your life, and breezily leave just as fast, leaving a giant “What the hell…

Ask Ceil – You’ve Got Mail

Dear Ceil, Almost every day, the mail carrier brings me a pile of garbage mixed in with really, really important paperwork. Also, the important stuff looks JUST like the garbage. Also, I’m terrible at making decisions about what is garbage and what is important. Also, my mail now occupies four grocery bags. Make it stop.…

Ask Ceil – Mustache and Beard Edition

Dear Ceil, I have a long, luxurious beard named “HR FluffNStuff”. I recently read that beards are almost past their “peak attractiveness”. Is there any way for me protect my face veil from shame? Signed, Hirsute in Hempfield Dear Hirsute, Ah, yes. The fashion peak of facial hair. The worry of the woolly woebegone. The…

Ask Ceil – E.S.P.

Dear Ceil, Can I use ESP to send my friend a message about something? I’d rather not confront her. Bashful in Basking Ridge Dear Bashful, I hail from New Jersey where confrontation is practically a team sport, so I typically endorse a more direct approach. But if you have already ruled that out, then let’s…

Ask Ceil – Reality Bytes

Dear Ceil, Will Virtual Reality lead mankind into a Facebook-fueled dystopian hell? Nervous in Nashua Dear Nervous, Perhaps you speak of the Oculus Rift, that fascinatingly chunky device that is not unlike its older cousin, the View-Master.