Dear Ceil: If someone asks me how the writing's going, are they being passive aggressive? Or just mocking me, outright? Hansen from The Heartland Dear Hansen, They're not being passive-aggressive, nor are they mocking you. They are aggressively mocking you. If there are two things everyone knows about writers, it's: 1. We procrastinate. We procrastinate … Continue reading Ask Ceil – How’s the Writing Going?
Dear Ceil, I just had a pumpkin spice latte with my pumpkin spice donut, in front of my pumpkin spice candle. I don't have friends anymore; I only have these things that are flavored with pumpkin spice. Is that ok? Sincerely, Autumnal in Austin Dear Autumnal, You know, when a person and a spice love … Continue reading Ask Ceil – Pumpkin Spice
Dear Ceil,Why am I afraid of things?Scared in SaskatchewanDear Scared,You are afraid of things because...You are sane.Shit is scary right now. It requires a full-on pep talk for me to get out of bed these days. For God's sake, because of the bed bug epidemic that hit the news last year, I need a stiff … Continue reading Ask Ceil – Fear Factor!
Dear Ceil, Why do I have so many opinions, and why do I talk about them? I had no idea I cared. Signed, Soapboxing in Susquehanna Dear Soapboxing, There are several reasons why we might voice our opinions. Only a couple make any sense. 1. We need to hear ourselves talk. You’re at home on … Continue reading Ask Ceil – I Have an Opinion
There are people who stay with you through your life. Through time and tide, you always find yourself going back and drawing on their memories. Not for support. Not for insight. Not even for humor.They are people who blow quickly into your life, and breezily leave just as fast, leaving a giant "What the hell … Continue reading The Three Weirdest Ways I Was Ever Asked Out
Dear Ceil,Almost every day, the mail carrier brings me a pile of garbage mixed in with really, really important paperwork. Also, the important stuff looks JUST like the garbage. Also, I’m terrible at making decisions about what is garbage and what is important. Also, my mail now occupies four grocery bags. Make it stop. Overwhelmed … Continue reading Ask Ceil – You’ve Got Mail
Dear Ceil, I have a long, luxurious beard named “HR FluffNStuff”. I recently read that beards are almost past their “peak attractiveness”. Is there any way for me protect my face veil from shame? Signed, Hirsute in Hempfield Dear Hirsute, Ah, yes. The fashion peak of facial hair. The worry of the woolly woebegone. The … Continue reading Ask Ceil – Mustache and Beard Edition
Dear Ceil, Can I use ESP to send my friend a message about something? I’d rather not confront her. Bashful in Basking Ridge Dear Bashful, I hail from New Jersey where confrontation is practically a team sport, so I typically endorse a more direct approach. But if you have already ruled that out, then let’s … Continue reading Ask Ceil – E.S.P.
Dear Ceil, I can’t seem to focus on anything. Why is that? Distracted in Detroit Dear Distracted, You may be having too much fun. For instance, is it possible you have been on Twitter? Facebook? Tumblr? Pinterest? Instagram? WordPress? Blogger? Vine? YouTube? Linked In? Google+? God help you, have you been on Whisper? So, I … Continue reading Ask Ceil – Hyper. Focus.
Dear Ceil, Will Virtual Reality lead mankind into a Facebook-fueled dystopian hell? Nervous in Nashua Dear Nervous, Perhaps you speak of the Oculus Rift, that fascinatingly chunky device that is not unlike its older cousin, the View-Master. Kid on left: utlra cool. Kids on right: total simps. The difference is, of course, the View-Master makes a … Continue reading Ask Ceil – Reality Bytes