The problem is, I’m not the kind of girl who thinks shaving pubic hair or getting spanked is kinky. The first paragraph I read of Fifty Shades of Grey made my eyes roll so hard, I can still occasionally see the inside of my brainpan. That’s not to say I’m straight up vanilla. It’s quite the opposite. You see, that kind of erotica is not so erotic when compared with The Story of O or Little Birds, which were some of my favorites as a young woman.
But I understand the value of trying something new to bring my sexy back, so I decided it was time to add another tool to my writing repertoire. It was time to write some erotica of my own.
My reasons were manifold. First, I always enjoy pushing my boundaries as a writer. Second, well, I mentioned my little issue already, and I thought it might be therapeutic. Third, if Fifty Shades was a money-maker, then the erotica I write ought to pay my mortgage. Fourth, I believe the adage is “write what you know” and between you, me, and the lamppost, I have a lot of experience in that area.
So I started a new private writing blog and I wrote my first real sex scene. Not too surprisingly, it was rather like my first time having sex–awkward and painful. I was so embarrassed, I didn’t want to look at the story again for a week or so.
But the second time was easier. I had an erotic short story that I wrote instead of just the single scene. It had some tingly suspense, a buildup, and a climax. It was kinky in a more interesting and realistic way than most of the modern erotica I’ve read. I think it came out pretty well, though my readers all said they thought it was a bit too rape-y at the end.
The surprising thing is that writing erotica isn’t as erotic as I thought it would be. I ended the first scene I wrote because I got annoyed with my chatty female protagonist. Writing the short story was amusing, but not particularly arousing. The initial premise came out of a funny conversation about Maggie Thatcher, after all.
But I want to explore the range of sexuality in writing, so I plan to make the next one just plain pornographic. And if it doesn’t work, I will try it again. It’s not like I mastered sex the first time out, after all. These things take practice.