As a US Citizen, am I required to watch Glee?
Pressured in Pomona
No. As a matter of fact, I am standing with you. I am coming out as a Glee-less American. It’s not that I have anything against…whatever it is that they do on that show. It’s simply that I don’t have the time to include another weekly television show in my calendar, no matter how brave, entertaining or groundbreaking…a show about high school may be. (“Harper Valley PTA”…now that was a show. At least it was, by definition, a show.)
Most of the time I don’t feel bad about not having time for television. Heck, sometimes I feel downright proud. But this Glee thing has gotten out of hand. They’re everywhere. They’re on the Emmys. They’re on the Grammys. They’re on Regis and Kelly, Letterman, Leno. They probably started their own infomercial, selling Ginsu Knives made out of old Glee DVDs. Glee Pictures and slogans are in the world around us, walking around on the backs of, and holding the coffee of, Glee fans everywhere. I went on the Fox website for Glee, just to see what kind of merchandise was out there. Turns out, there are 139 items for sale in the Glee Shop, including (but not limited to):
- A Glee Board Game in a Box (The title specifies the box. I was hoping bucket or perhaps bejeweled handbag.)
- A skateboard deck
- Cardboard standups of your favorite Glee character. (There’s one character who’s in a wheelchair, and they’re listing the product as a stand up. Is that inappropriate irony, that the cardboard cut-out can stand up, but the actual character cannot? Well, for sure it’s in bad taste to bring it up, right? Just making sure I know where I stand.)
- A Glee Magic 8-Ball
Lots of other Glee merchandise is available, mainly t-shirts, mugs and DVDs for those of us who are more Gleeful than others. (Though not more Gleeful than those who are cashing checks for all the Glee swag they’re selling.)
But seriously, GleeNation is growing, and the faithful are wandering the streets, preaching their love of all things Glee. Now, just so I don’t sound like an angry curmudgeon when you approach me to talk about Glee in the same way that 7th Day Adventists knock on my door to see if I’ve gone to hell yet, I have a few tips for you:
- I don’t care how terrifically awesome your tv show is.
- It’s OK that I don’t watch your TV show. My life does not have less meaning.
- It’s OK that you watch your TV show. It’s even OK if you obsess about your show, and you’ve named your two goldfish “Sue” and “Sylvester”. I don’t judge.
- It’s really ok if we move onto another topic.
Today, I officially come out as a person who has never watched Glee. Don’t hate.
(The word “curmudgeon” was used today in honor of Andy Rooney. Dead grouchy old coot. He had nothing to do with Glee, except to serve as a vacuum for the concept.)
What is up with the yawning when you see someone else yawn?
Unwillingly Sleepy in Saskatoon
You know, it’s not just when you see someone yawn. It’s also when you read the word “yawn”. You can even see a cartoon character yawn, and you’ll want to yawn. As a matter of fact, I’ll bet you’ll be yawning in a minute or two. You’re probably not even tired. I’m not tired, and I’m yawning, and I knew I was going to write about yawning.
There are several scientific studies on the phenomenon. There are so many studies that it is a field of study. Chasmology. Guys named “Charles”: sorry! You’re not that interesting!
My favorite study is the one where they studied whether a chimpanzee will yawn after another chimpanzee yawns. (They do.)
Theories on this range widely. It may be the brain trying to keep itself cool. It may be a group pressuring all its members to get adequate sleep. It may be something sexual. (Seriously, someone put down that Freud book!) But almost everyone agrees that the imitation starts subconsciously, and then is brought into our conscious to be resisted (or not).
But if we’re doing this subconsciously, what other things are we doing? Coughing? Sneezing? I haven’t noticed any group sneezing fits. Though the winter cold season is upon us. Cursing? I have to admit, I find that I swear more often when I’m around others who swear. Dammit!
I don’t know. Maybe it’s not worth our attention and resources at all. Actually, the whole thing is pretty boring.
What’s so great about 11/11/11?
Numbered in New York
Well, in binary code, it’s basically YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES! So you can use your imagination to fill in the details. Whatever it is, though, it’s bound to be positive!
Have an orgasmic day!
Ceil Kessler is a Business Intelligence and Business Operations / Marketing Consultant by day, and a superhero by night. Shhh.
If you have questions for Ceil, you can use the Ask Ceil-o-matic form to ask them.