I wanted you to know that I’m in St. Louis. (I just drove. This is where the car ended up.) Not feeling as sunny as postcard picture. I’m sorry I ran away. I need some time. I don’t recognize the voice in my head anymore. The driving was nice. Very quiet. More later. El
“Well, you can go in, but don’t expect much.” Fluorescent lights reflected off the bright counter surface and onto Ms. Gray’s glasses, making it difficult to see her eyes. “Old Mrs. Long hasn’t said a word since the fire three weeks ago. Took her husband, you know.”
I wish there was a way to get 4000 new Twitter followers overnight. What could we possibly do?
A Huge Telecommunications Company
First, let me ask: Are you sure you’re a company? I mean, do you have an office building and a staff, or maybe a big meeting of investors every once in a while. Go ahead and check. I’ll wait.
Is there life on other planets?
Yes. I know this for several reasons.
Why aren’t I having more fun?
Blah in Bloomfield
Well there can be several reasons you’re not having fun.
1. You might actually be having fun, and you don’t realize it.
I mean, have you actually checked? Are you at an amusement park, or dancing with a good-looking member of the opposite sex? Perhaps it’s a beautiful day and you’re at the park, playing frisbee?
Why do zombies eat brains?
Undead in Utah
There are a number of reasons a zombie might want to eat brains. First and most obvious, zombies are ridiculously stupid and they are constantly trying to become smarter. Being the dull-witted, illogical non-beings they are, they figure that eating brains is the quickest path to intelligence.
Russ grabbed his brother, spun him around and hugged him. Under his breath he said, “Thank God you’re okay.”
A reluctant breeze swayed the yellowed, ruffled kitchen curtains and cigarette smoke swirled around the dingy room.
Russ then pushed Jackson back and slugged him. Jackson flew back, knocking over the kitchen table. Mother’s crystal salt and pepper shakers skidded under the pie chest.
Aren’t cupcakes just small cakes? Why are they so exciting?
Edible in Erie
I’m not sure. When something is smaller, for some reason, it’s more desirable. Like miniature poodles. Or mini cameras. Or mini aardvark/earthpigs.
Isn’t the Arm & Hammer logo a little drastic for baking soda?
Fresh in Freehold
Now let’s be honest. Do you want to get rid of the smell in your refrigerator, or do you want to pound it to death with unyielding force? Because you could get rid of an odor, or you could make it sorry it ever showed up in the first place.
But besides opening the box and sticking in your fridge, or using it in actual baking, what the heck is baking soda for? And why are we so forceful about it?